


The Thing That I Once Was

by michaelandthegodsquad



Category: Borderlands, Tales from the Borderlands - Fandom
Genre: Agender Character, Alien Sex, Established Relationship, First Time, Knotting, Masturbation, Mentions of Oviposition, Other, Tentacles, Trans Male Character, Vaginal Fingering, Xenobiology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:55:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6358027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaelandthegodsquad/pseuds/michaelandthegodsquad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhys nearly blurts out the obvious question until he remembers his reading.</p><p>“Be receptive to your alien partner’s culture and customs,” the article had said. “Approach any questions sensitively and with an open mind.” Rhys takes a deep breath and steels himself to ask, then promptly doesn’t.</p><p>OR:</p><p>Zerhys first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Thing That I Once Was

**Author's Note:**

> For [fuwafawn](http://fuwafawn.tumblr.com/), who asked for some Zerhys first time with a little xenobiology. This took far too long but I had a lot of fun writing it! Thank you!!
> 
> This is my first time writing a trans character; I did my best, but I am a mere cis person, so I'd appreciate any feedback on how I handled it. (Same for the xenobiology.)
> 
> (I used [The Guardian](https://bad-dragon.com/products/guardian) from Bad Dragon as inspiration/reference for Zer0's anatomy, if anyone is interested! NSFW link, open with caution!)
> 
> I only did a quick self-beta, so if you notice any mistakes I'd appreciate you pointing them out.

There’s a perfectly good reason Rhys doesn’t bring it up.

The first time Zer0 spends the night, Rhys is a mess of excitement and nervous energy. He spends the afternoon practicing his “seeing my alien lover’s (partner’s? mate’s? comrade’s?) face/body for the first time, this is fine and I’m not gonna freak out or make a big deal about it and possibly make them feel bad” face. (It’s not an easy face to make, he’ll have you know.) He’s sitting up in bed, trying to act natural, when Zer0 walks in, still in their full gear. Rhys pretends to be paying attention to his ECHO pad, but watches Zer0 out of the corner of his eye, waiting for them to strip down and climb into bed and trying not to break into a sweat at the thought, but….it doesn’t happen.

Instead Zer0 climbs into bed beside Rhys, still totally dressed except for their boots, belt, and various holsters, leaving one gun wedged between the mattress and the wall, fairly close to where Rhys keeps his. Rhys nearly blurts out the obvious question until he remembers his reading.

 _“Be receptive to your alien partner’s culture and customs,”_ the article had said. _“Approach any questions sensitively and with an open mind.”_ Rhys takes a deep breath and steels himself to ask, then promptly _doesn’t,_ instead using his ECHO pad to turn off the lights before lying down. Zer0 lies on their back beside him, one hand resting on their chest and the other lying on the bed between them. Rhys reaches for it, twining their fingers together.

“Are you comfortable?” he asks quietly into the dark, only the faint reflection of starlight from the window even hinting that they’re there.

Zer0 doesn’t respond with words, but a red light shines from their helmet, too bright in the darkened room, and Rhys squints against the light. “Maybe cool it with the high beams, Ze,” he says with a chuckle, and the light dims until the displayed **_< 3 _**is visible without blinding Rhys. A laugh bubbles up out of him, and he leans in to press a quick kiss to their helmet before closing his eyes.

-

It becomes somewhat of a routine over the next few weeks. Zer0 spends most of their time away on missions, but when they’re not roaming Pandora, they make their way back to Rhys.

More often than not, they’ll slip into bed beside Rhys in the middle of the night, smelling like gunpowder and ozone and something faintly metallic. Rhys sighs and settles in, pressing back against Zer0’s front. They get an arm around his waist, long alien fingers splaying out over his lower abdomen, dipping just under the waistband of his sleep pants. Rhys’s eyes widen as he swallows and takes a deep breath, having a difficult time falling asleep afterwards every time.

-

Rhys is working on a new railgun prototype. The splitter barrel he needs is on a high shelf in Atlas’s new storage room, and tall as he is, he still can’t reach it. He’s about to get a stool when he feels a hand on his hip, and absolutely _does not_ yelp as he reaches for the pistol in his shoulder holster and turns around.

It’s Zer0, of course, their head tilted and hand still outstretched as they practically _loom_ over Rhys, who swallows and blinks up at them. He’s so used to being the tallest one in the room, and having Zer0 be nearly a foot taller is...alluring, to say the least. “Oh, you’re back,” he says somewhat breathlessly, standing on tiptoes to kiss the edge of the helmet, his lips maybe lingering a moment too long.

“Not for long, sadly / You may have something I need / for my next mission.”

Rhys’s eyes widen. “You mean my rifle prototype? You sure?” Zer0 nods, and Rhys lets out a giddy laugh. “Okay! Just let me get this splitter barrel down and—” Zer0 looks up, then reaches for the top shelf. They lean into Rhys in the process, pressing their fronts together as Rhys is pushed back into the shelves, his hands coming up to rest on Zer0’s chest. He lets out a shaky breath, fogging up the surface of Zer0’s helmet, and then Zer0 pulls back, splitter barrel in hand.

“This one?” they say, and Rhys nods, wide-eyed, his mouth still ajar.

“Yeah, that’s—that’s the one,” he whispers, taking the barrel. “I’ll go get you that rifle now.”

-

Zer0 is gone again by that night, which finds Rhys in the shower, water beating down on his back, forehead leaning heavily against the tiled wall. He groans under his breath as his hand picks up speed, slicked fingers curling and thrusting into himself, the heel of his hand pressing and grinding against his clit. He screws his eyes shut and thinks of Zer0 pressing up against him in the storage room, their firm muscles under his hands, that alien scent surrounding him. He comes with a shaky whimper of Zer0’s name, muscles squeezing and pulsing around his fingers, his legs nearly giving out beneath him.

The water’s run cold by the time he catches his breath, and he starts to think that he might be in over his head.

-

Rhys doesn’t wake up the next time Zer0 comes back. He’s been awake for thirty-six hours by the time he finally stumbles into bed, exhausted and bleary-eyed, and sleeps soundly all through the night and well into the next day.

When he wakes up from yet another dream involving being pinned down by strong alien hands, his sleep pants have already begun to dampen at the crotch, the meet of his thighs wet and and slightly sticky. Eyes still closed, Rhys rolls his hips forward, sighing at the friction from the firm pillow between his thighs, hand gripping the sheets, and it’s not until he takes a shuddery breath and inhales the scent of gunpowder that he pauses, eyes snapping open.

Zer0 is curled around him, his head tucked against their chest and their long, firm thigh pressed between his own. Rhys blushes deep red at the realization that he must have been rutting against Zer0 in his sleep.

“Shit,” he hisses, beginning to shimmy away. “Sorry, Ze, I didn’t mean—I’ll just…”

He moves to get out of bed, but Zer0’s hand on his chest pushes him back into the bed, Zer0 looming over him until Rhys can see his startled reflection in the helmet. “Hi?”

“You are aroused,” Zer0 says after a moment, tilting their head.

Rhys watches himself swallow in his reflection and nods. “Uh. Yeah. And now I’ve gotta go figure out how to drown myself in the shower, so if you’ll excuse me—” The hand pinning him down presses harder when he tries to move again and he gasps, squirming under the weight.

Zer0 watches him intently, or at least Rhys thinks they do; the hand on his chest begins to slide downward, gloved fingers moving over his skin, down to his stomach, creeping under his sleep pants. Rhys can’t help the quiet mewl that escapes him, his pelvis bucking without his permission, urging Zer0 on. Their fingers pause to rub circles at his hip, gloves warm against his skin, and Rhys lets out a shaky sigh, pulse thrumming in anticipation.

“May I?” Zer0 asks, robotic voice lower and quieter than Rhys has ever heard it before, and he nods frantically.

“Yes, yeah, please, Ze, I _need_ —”

Zer0’s fingers feel...well, alien, when they finally creep down, and not just because they’re still gloved—they’re longer than he’s used to, thicker than his own and more rounded at the tips where they dip between his labia and spread him open. Rhys sighs quietly, feeling his clit pulse in anticipation and need. Zer0 leans on one elbow, their free hand resting on Rhys’s head and sifting through his hair as the other dips into his slit, sliding smoothly along warm, slick skin. Their touch is thorough and exploratory, feeling along his vulva as though mapping it out, and the fleeting contact has Rhys mewling under his breath. Zer0’s fingertips move down to his hole, brushing over his slick entrance as Rhys bites his lip in anticipation, but instead they move back up to his clit, Rhys’s disappointed whine trailing off into a pleased one.

“K-keep going,” Rhys says breathlessly with an encouraging nod. Zer0 seems to nod back, looking down at where their hand works as they settle two fingers on either side of his clit and press inward. Rhys’s hips buck upward suddenly as he groans loudly, his hand darting up to grip Zer0’s clothes.

Zer0 pauses, startled, and displays a **_!_** on their helmet, nearly moving their hand away. Rhys laughs, says, “No, that was good,” and leans up to press a small kiss on their helmet. “Go on,” he says with an encouraging smile. With another nod, Zer0 continues, their fingers squeezing lightly around Rhys’s clit, sliding wetly back and forth. Rhys lets out a quiet, shaky moan, pelvis bucking in subtle movements towards Zer0’s fingers, seeking friction but never quite finding it. Within minutes he’s mewling again because it’s so good but not enough, not nearly enough.

“Zer0, _please,_ ” he breathes, until they finally press down onto his clit, not moving at first until they take the hint from Rhys’s bucking hips and begin to rub in tight circles, applying more pressure as they go on. Rhys groans, feeling his orgasm building at the base of his spine, rising like a wave until it crashes, making him gasp as it spreads over him, warming him and washing away the tension of the last few weeks _._ His grip in Zer0’s clothes tightens as he pulls them down to lay countless frantic kisses against their helmet, fogging up the surface and wishing like hell that he could feel their skin.

They keep their fingers on his clit until he shies away in his sensitivity, stroking back down to his hole, tilting their head at the extra slickness they find there and pressing their fingertips in. Rhys bites his lip and whimpers quietly, and Zer0 watches him for a moment, considering, before sitting up, tugging Rhys’s sleep pants down and moving between his legs, hands parting his knees to accommodate them.

“Ze?” Rhys asks, dazed, propping himself up on his elbows to look down at them. “What are you— _oh,_ ” he exhales as Zer0 presses two fingers into him. They’re long, sliding in further than Rhys’s fingers ever have, and he gasps, hips rolling up to get them deeper still. Zer0’s free hand pins his pelvis down and he hums, biting his lip as his breath stutters. They pull their fingers out entirely, watching intently as a string of Rhys’s slick clings to the tips, spreading their fingers to watch it stretch between them. Zer0 slips their fingers back in and begins thrusting, settling into a rhythm and letting Rhys’s increasingly high-pitched whines guide them, picking up speed as his hips try to roll under the weight of their hold to no avail.

Their fingers slow until they thrust lazily into Rhys, who looks up with dark, wide eyes. “Why’d you—”

“Can you take more, Rhys?” Zer0 asks, robotic voice pitched low, the tip of a third finger already pressing at his sick hole. Rhys’s eyes widen impossibly more as he nods frantically.

“Yeah, _yes,_ gimme—I can—” He’s cut off as Zer0 slides three fingers in, and Rhys lets out a relieved sigh and a satisfied hum. He licks his lips and breathes through the added stretch, reveling in it after months of only his own fingers. After a moment one of Zer0’s longer fingers just barely brush against his g-spot, and Rhys groans, long and loud, hips struggling harder against their hold. Very briefly Zer0 displays another **_!_** on their helmet, but it’s quickly dismissed as they try to repeat the motion, fingertips curving upward until they press on his g-spot and have Rhys whining. They begin thrusting into him again, fourth finger moving up to rub lightly at his clit; Rhys moans breathlessly, his hips jerking suddenly, and Zer0 loosens their hold, allowing him to roll his pelvis down and fuck himself on their fingers, bucking up occasionally to put more pressure on his clit.

“Fuck, Ze, I’m—I’m gonna—fuck, fuck me, Zer0, _please, fuck me,_ oh god—” he babbles on and on, until the sound of a zipper makes him pause. He glances down to see Zer0’s free hand poised on the zip at the neck of their suit, and they pause, looking at him.

“Are you sure?” they ask, fingers slipping out of Rhys and resting on his thigh, and if Rhys didn’t know better he’d say they almost looked unsure of themselves.

He nods. “Yeah. Please.”

Zer0’s skin is a light, almost translucent lavender when they pull the zip down, revealing a lean chest tapering down to an even leaner waist that would have Rhys worrying, had they been human. He reaches out hesitantly, pausing just before his warm flesh hand makes contact with cool skin, smoother than he might have expected but not exactly soft. He pulls his hand back as they unzip the suit to the belt, shrugging the sleeves off and letting them hang beside them before pushing the suit down only enough to expose their cock...cocks? No, there’s only one, surrounded by what seem to be a few tentacle-like appendages, lean and about the length of Zer0’s fingers, if a bit longer and more...wiggly, shiny with some kind of fluid that beads at the tips and slides down the shafts.

Their cock is thicker than Rhys would have expected given their lean, wiry build, though he can’t deny the burst of nervous excitement that blooms in his core at the thought. The shape is not totally unlike human dicks, though it’s more pointed at the tip, the rim of the head crested with fleshy points. Along the top of the shaft Rhys can just spy a series of ridges, leading down its length to a swollen, rounded base, and further down than that, beyond the tentacles, a slit that’s not unlike Rhys’s own.

Rhys swallows. “Is that a knot?” he asks quietly. He’s seen a few, on Pandoran wildlife mostly, and he pushes down the nervous feeling when Zer0 says yes. “C-can I?” he says, reaching out to them. With their nod, Rhys runs curious fingertips along their cock, feeling the ridges along the head and shaft, pressing down slightly around the knot and listening as Zer0 hums in response. Zer0’s hands ball into fists at their sides as Rhys lets his fingers trail up one of the small tentacles, gathering slick, sticky fluid, clear but with that same lavender tint, and watching more spurt thickly from the tip and dribble onto his fingers. “What are these for?” he asks, repeating the process with another tentacle.

Zer0 lets out a quiet grunt. “For lubrication / and to create the membrane / that passes the clutch.”

Rhys pauses his movements, his wide eyes quickly darting up to Zer0’s helmet. “Clutch? As in eggs? Are you gonna put eggs in me?” he says, ignoring the bolt of arousal that shoots through him as he asks.

Their helmet displays a blush, and they shake their head, gloved hand coming up to run through Rhys’s hair. “Perhaps another day.”

Rhys nods, sighing in relief, and continues his exploration of Zer0’s anatomy. Biting his lip, he trails his slicked fingers down further, past their knot until he’s softly stroking along their slit, pressing in just barely and waiting for them to stop him, to show any signs of disapproval or protests. There’s none, and he pushes a little further, lavender flesh giving way until Rhys can feel his fingers pressing into Zer0’s hole, warm where the rest of them is cool to the touch.

Zer0 moves quickly then, grunting as they roughly shove Rhys’s shoulders until he’s lying back on the mattress, panting with wide eyes as Zer0 looms over him, dragging their cock wetly over his clit with another harsh grunt. He remembers suddenly all the damage that the hands holding him down are capable of doing, the blood they’ve spilled and the destruction they’ve brought about. The thought should put him off, but instead he finds himself bucking up into them, a plea on his lips.

He gasps and grips the sheets when he feels two of the tentacles, cool and slick, push into him just enough to hold him open, spurting more fluid as Zer0 begins to press their cock in. It’s thicker than anything he’s used to—anything _human,_ he supposes—and he’s thankful that the tentacles are doing their job as Zer0 slides in, stretching him wide and open until they’re fully seated in him, their knot resting just outside of his hole.

Rhys breathes deeply through the stretch; Zer0’s fingers were thick, yes, but this is something else altogether, filling him and pressing against his walls the way no human ever has. “Fuck,” he breathes out, reaching up to grip Zer0’s suit but finding only cool, smooth skin instead. He curls his hand around their shoulder and resists the instinct to slide them up into—something. What would he find under their helmet? Hair? More skin? ...something else?

For a moment Rhys begins to wish he knew, could feel what’s under there, but that thought is quickly forgotten as Zer0 begins to pull back, the thickness of their cock, in tandem with the two tentacles holding him open, stretching him nearly to discomfort. Rhys gasps, hips pulling back on instinct, but he finds no relief there as the ridges along their shaft pull at his rim in quick succession until only the head of their cock remains inside him. He swears loudly, the wind knocked out of him for a moment, and tries to regulate his breathing again, sighing when gloved fingertips come to rest on his cheek. Rhys blinks away the moisture in his eyes and looks up at Zer0, thinking dazedly that he can read concern (and maybe fondness?) in the blank surface of their helmet staring back at him. He swallows, takes a deep breath, and bites his lip, and rolls his hips down again, encouraging Zer0 to continue.

The pace they set is slow at first, steady, but good enough for Rhys, who can feel every texture and ridge, every spot where their cock widens and tapers down again, the fleshy points of their head pressing into his g-spot with each slide in and back out. Rhys’s grip on their shoulders tightens and he smiles slightly to himself, reveling in finally being able to feel their skin against his own. Zer0’s slick combined with his own makes obscene wet, sliding sounds with each slow, agonizing thrust, and Rhys flushes as he groans long and low. “Ze, please, I need more, please—” he breathes out, and Zer0 doesn’t even stop, keeps fucking him slowly as they lean in closer.

“I do not wish to hurt you, Rhys,” they say, and Rhys looks intently at where he imagines their eyes to be, warm hand moving up to rest reassuringly on the side of their neck.

“You won’t,” he breathes out quietly.

A head tilt from Zer0 as they seem to watch him, considering, still thrusting slowly only up to their knot, with a restrained power to their movements. Rhys lets out a quiet whimper and presses his heated forehead against the cool skin of Zer0’s arm where it’s braced on the bed. His hand slides down from their shoulder to their arm, fingers pushing their glove aside, just enough to press a featherlight kiss to their wrist as he whispers, “C’mon, I can take it,” not sure if he actually can but sure as hell wanting to try.

There’s a shift in Zer0 when he says that, and their posture changes, shoulders rolling back as they pull out, movements becoming less relaxed. Something in their demeanor becomes more calculated, predatory even, in that way that Rhys associates with their vault hunting, knowing as they straighten up and slowly run gloved alien hands over Rhys’s skin. One slides down his clavicle, down over his scarred and tattooed chest, over the dip where his stomach goes soft and concave, until they’re gripping his hip and tilting him up for leverage, the leather glove squeaking as their hold tightens. Their other hand rests firmly near his neck, until their thumb fits into the hollow of his throat, threatening to press down and cut off his air but never quite making the move to do so; Rhys swears they must feel the way his pulse pounds under their touch, the way his throat bobs as he swallows.

The next time Zer0 pushes into him it’s with a harsh snap of their hips; Rhys gasps and lets out a high-pitched groan, both in surprise, and at the sudden stretch, the way their knot presses close and threatens to force its way in. From then on Zer0 doesn’t thrust into him so much as roll, their entire body moving with them as they find a rhythm and gain momentum, fucking into Rhys with steadily increasing speed until Rhys is gasping with it, struggling to catch his breath as their skin begins to slap together loudly and Zer0 grunts with exertion. He whimpers each time Zer0 pushes into him, dizzy with the sensation of being filled so completely over and over again, their knot threatening to stretch him open anew every time.

Rhys’s hand flutters for purchase, holding on tightly to the sheets, to Zer0, anywhere, so sure that the force of Zer0’s thrusts will push him off the bed, but Zer0’s hands on his hips and throat keep him grounded. He feels as though he’s lost track of space and time, his whole world narrowing to the places where Zer0 touches him, presses into him, makes him babble nonsensically as his mind buzzes with sensation. Just when he thinks he’s adjusting to the feeling, more of their slick, wriggly tentacles creep in, stretching him even further and adding more slick until he can feel it trickling down his ass, hear the wet sounds of Zer0 fucking into him again and again.

Suddenly strong, lean arms wrap around his middle, hauling him up until he’s seated in Zer0’s lap. Rhys swears loudly as their tentacles finally retreat and Zer0’s cock seems to press impossibly deeper. He crosses his ankles behind their back and angles his hips down, reveling in the way they completely fill that space inside of him. Zer0 uses their hold on him to work him down steadily onto their cock, pushing in slowly, their combined fluids making a slick squelching sound until, with a slow grind and the right angle, their knot slips in with a final push.

For a moment the stretch is almost too much, Rhys’s vision blurring around the edges, but he feels so _full_ and so desperate to come. He absently circles his hips until he can feel Zer0’s knot pressing against his g-spot and with a helpless whine he reaches down to rub frantically at his clit, kissing sloppily at their helmet until he’s coming with a loud cry, feeling that warm tingle expand outward from his core until his fingers and toes are buzzing with it, dizzy as tears gather in his eyes and threaten to spill over. Finally he slumps against Zer0, who grunts and holds Rhys up as they try to continue thrusting into him a few more times, as if their knot could get any deeper, until with a final, guttural sound they still and come; Rhys feels the rush of fluid and whimpers at feeling impossible fuller, sighing and mouthing absently against Zer0’s skin as they both struggle to catch their breath.

“Fuck, Ze,” Rhys breathes out, and Zer0 pulls him in closer, the surface of their helmet nuzzling into his hair. After a few minutes Rhys moves to get up but finds that he can’t, not without their knot pulling almost painfully at his hole. “What—did it get bigger?” he asks incredulously, and Zer0 nods minutely. “....how long until it...uh…”

“Rest, Rhys,” is all Zer0 says in response, their hold on Rhys never wavering, and with a nod and a sleepy sigh, Rhys rests his head on their shoulder and lets himself drift.

-

When he comes to again, he’s lying back on the bed, no longer tied to Zer0, who’s already getting dressed again. Rhys sits up quickly, alarmed and confused, and pulls the sheets up over his lap. “Are you leaving again?” he asks, wincing at the desperation in his tone. He knew it would be like this, knew from the beginning, but after—well.

Zer0 pauses, one sleeve pulled up to their shoulder as they tilt their head in his direction, and Rhys rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I just meant, y’know...I thought you might wanna rest after—uh—that.” They nod once, with a quiet hum, and resume dressing, pulling on their second sleeve.

“I prefer to be / dressed, as to be nude is to / be vulnerable,” they say after a moment, zipping up the front until their pale lavender skin is hidden again. Rhys misses it already.

But Rhys looks down at himself, at his long gangly legs, the sheet he instinctively pulled up to his waist, the empty socket where his right arm should be, and thinks about the gun he keeps behind the mattress—and nods.

He gets it.

Still, he reaches for Zer0’s gloved hand, twining their fingers together, and pulling them closer to kiss at the helmet softly, thinking that they might get him too.

**Author's Note:**

> Come harass me on [Tumblr](http://michaelandthegodsquad.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
